Fortune Telling for the Holidays

I'm a 22 year old that recently graduated university. That fact in itself is filled with frustration, mystery and cluelessness. Since receiving my diploma in May, I've gone through most of the phases of grief for my college years. The week I graduated, I denied that I'd have to face the real world by celebrating with my friends at various bars every night. When I moved out of my beloved college apartment, I was angry to return home, mostly because I knew I'd have to live with my parents. I bargained with myself, through my anger, and inevitably thought that moving away to Chicago was going to make me become the adult I had to be. A few months later, I was fighting through an awful depression about being back in my childhood room. The only step left is acceptance, and I'm more than ready to get on to this stage of the grieving process. 

As you might have read on Bitchtopia, my best friend's mother has recently converted to Wicca. She offered for me to get a Tarot reading from one of her witch buddies. Even though I'm a little weary about these kind of things, I took the reading as an opportunity to hear a new opinion on what might be possible for my future because I'm slowly learning that I have no idea what my next move should be.
Just like talking to a therapist, my Tarot reading didn't give me an answer. It gave me a better sense of direction.
For my personality card, I pulled "The Emperor", which symbolizes that I am powerful yet pragmatic and have a very masculine aura. For my future cards, I pulled "The Empress" and "The High Priestess". My reader explained that this could mean that I am going to meet a woman who will make a difference in my life. "The Empress" is a perfect match to "The Emperor", which means I could be meeting someone who will be a very powerful force for my future. It's all very relative, as my present and past cards were all symbols of uncertainty, lost love and indecision.
What I've learned from my reading is that I need to focus on what I really want. I am the only one with the power to decide my future, and I can't just wait around for things to fall on to my lap. Just like "The High Priestess" card symbolizes, I probably already knew this within my subconscious. It's time to make my dreamer attitude actualize and really get to work. 

Just like the fortune told, my focus is already honing in, because my outfit today was probably the cleanest I've had in a while. I have to thank Ms. BeccaBae for making this outfit as amazing as it is. For the holidays, I signed up for a secret santa swap with some other fatshion bloggers. I was lucky enough to get this fox, and she sent me the absolutely beautiful scarf and TOTALLY ADORBS "Nope" wood ring. She sent me more goodies, but I'm going to reveal them with outfits that match them respectively. Maybe Becca is the wonderful woman sent to me to change my life, because I know she has already given me so much, just by being the beautiful, empowering lady that she is. 

Leather moto-jacket - A.n.a. via JC Penny

White Peter pan collar shirt - Amazon

Pink and white striped boat shirt - Old Navy

Burgundy cotton body con skirt - Target

 Velvet flats - Old Navy

My only complaint about this outfit is the skirt. I originally bought it because I adored the color, it WASN'T black and it was body con. When I put the skirt over my body, it sticks to me like glue but no matter how I wash it or wear it, after 15 minutes, it stretches out to be a loose pencil skirt. It's looks wrinkly and messy after less than an hour of wear. We can list this one under "Do Not Want." 

I know it's hard to believe, but my hair only took 5 minutes to do! I sectioned my hair into two sections (the top half and bottom half.) The lower half goes into a high ponytail, which gets teased and pinned into a bun. The upper half gets light teased over the bun and pinned over it. If I ever figure out how to make a nice video, I'll make a tutorial. It's quite possibly the cleanest, easiest vintage style I've ever mastered. 

Wallet - Betsey Johnson via Macy's

"Nope" ring - present from BeccaBae

Pink nail polish - "Pink About It" by Essie

Silver glitter nail polish - "Set in Stones" by Essie

(My jacket is super old and ratty. It's probably time for a new one, but a good moto jacket is so hard to find!)

Christian, who has taken most of my photos, has gotten so fantastic at head shots. It was hard to pick just these two. He's really fantastic and talented and it always blows my mind when he starts a new hobby and just NAILS IT every time. I guess that's what one can do when they harness the power of staying driven and focused. Now it's my turn!

~xoxo your local imaginary ghoulfriend

Fre$h New 'Do

 Instead of falling into the depths of Winter depression, I colored my hair. After days of google image searching, lurking my favorite blogs and opening an endless amount tabs with pictures of hairspo, I knew I needed a funky ombre. I have had a blonde panel in my bangs for almost two years. I'm a creature of habit, so dying bangs one color was really brave of me.

I'm still 50%/50% about this dress, but I love it so much off of my body, that I can't imagine returning it. It's a swing dress from ASOS. I only like the way it looks with a belt, but I definitely need a fresh new black belt to wear it with. For now, I took a belt off of a Summer dress combo. It looks alright. I wish the cut of the shoulders were higher up because I think it would make the whole dress fall better.

Dress: Asos

Tights: SPANX

Belt: Forever 21

Shoes: Dolce Vita

These were my first pair of ~!*fancy*!~ shoes. I bought them 3 years ago, at DSW. I very rarely wear them, because the tongue always slides all the way under the rest of the shoe, and they're not comfortable to wear for long periods of time, but DAMN those buckles are cute.

xoxogossipgurl ;) :*

Mama Said There'd Be Days Like This

I loved my last winter coat so much that I bought it even though it wasn't large enough in the chest area. It was so hard to find the *perfect* cut coat for me, that I compromised the top button with scarves and high-cut sweaters. Five years ago, when I bought that coat, I didn't understand that I should be aiming to buy clothes I'm comfortable in because I'm going to be plus size for a while, if not forever. I should NOT be buying clothes that don't fit, with the hopes of fitting into it later. That's just gonna f*ck with my mental state. In conclusion: It was time for a new coat. 

I've been searching harder than Sherlock Holmes for a coat in a size 20/22, with a fitted waist that's not puffy and still warm and also under $200. I had a few coats that I loved and would probably be perfect, like this coat, but they were all too expensive for me to actually purchase. I ordered 3 reasonably priced coats from ASOS, and wasn't happy with any of them. Their Fit and Flare coat was the closest I got, but I sent it back because I couldn't deal with the drop waist. I'm only 5'3'' and I need a high waist. (empire, if possible.) 

Then there was the Hell Bunny Millie coat. I first saw it on the Re/Dress site, as a preorder, and I hit up Erin (aka zerostyle) right away to get all the details. I checked the measurements, and I thought it would be too small for me, so I gave up on the idea of ordering it. My mom, sick of me not having a winter coat, ordered it for me as a surprise. I could absolutely cry about how perfect it is.

First off, the black details lines are actually velvet. It's adorable and makes me excited just by looking at it. The cuffs are asymmetrical, making for a very flattering edge. Basically, the detailing on this coat is to die for. I'm a size 20, usually a 22 for winter coats, and this coat is a 4x. It fits a tad snug in the chest, as suspected, but it's a double breasted coat, so I plan on re-sewing the buttons for a more lose fit. I haven't done that yet, and as you can see, the coat still fits and (in my opinion) super flattering. I took the belt off because it makes the waist appear lower, and I like a high waist. I'll probably still use the belt every once and while, though, because it's adds a different touch to the style. 

As for warmth, I'd give this a medium to high rating. I like being cold and it takes me a little bit longer to get cold than most, so I'm not sure if I'm a great person to gage this BUT I took these pictures out in 20 degree weather and didn't shiver at all. Once I adjust the buttons, I'll be able to wear many layers of sweaters under this, and I think that I'll be warm enough for snowy winter days. 

Yeah, I'm wearing a wig for these night time photos. I was feeling super goth today, and it just felt right. I attended a hair extension seminar with a friend and needed my synthetic fix. I'm keen of this look, but I could never commit to black hair 24/7. I'm way too pale. 

Magic

I've always described myself as "magic" because I honestly have no explanation of where my confidence comes from. My past includes severe abuse, both physical and verbal, which targeted my size and shape. To this day, my parents (my father especially) bribes me with money to lose weight. Even with diet talk circling my ears and fat stereotypes driving jokes into the ground, I've managed to stay resilient.  I must have cast a spell on myself because I can look in the mirror, gawk at my beauty, and successfully manage to drown out the sound of my "loved" ones' judgement. My newest journey and project is going to be figuring out where I harness my power of confidence from. That's going to be the real trick. It's important to understand why we love the bodies we live in so that we can continue to grow as confident, mystically strong beings.

Now, let's talk about how proud I am to be wearing a full ASOS outfit!

Blouse- ASOS

Jacket- ASOS

Skirt & Belt- ASOS

Shoes - H&M 

I've been waiting to buy this skater skirt for over a year now. I've heard a lot of review saying that the shirt was too short, and I was really worried. I have only a crack where a butt should be, so I don't seem to have that problem. It is long enough that I can wear bike shorts underneath without them poking through at the bottom. I fluctuate between a size 18 and 20, and ordered it in the 20. If sitting on my true waist, it's a perfect fit. I've never been so excited for an article of clothing that actually met it's expectations. Thank you, ASOS, for making all my flirty skater skirt dreams come true.

I especially love the photo above because it's my fat from the side. It's really hard to get a shot from the side that looks nice, but this outfit is so great, it works at any angle! 

The lace work on this blouse is unbelievably adorable. I keep saying that I own too much lace, because it's the biggest trend out there, but DANG how could I not? Some trends are worth the repetition. 

Lilgrrrlcreep xoxo

B*More Adventurous

One of my favorite activities in the world is driving long distance. I'll always choose a road trip over an airplane ride when given the opportunity. This weekend, I drove down to Baltimore, Maryland for a friend's birthday. Long drives are perfect for  one-on-one time with yourself. I turned up some Missy Elliot and had some major reflection time on I-95. 

Although the weekend was fun and full of booty shakin', I'm not smitten with Baltimore yet. I was, however, impressed by the colors of some of the houses, the flamingos on the front yards and small town attitude of the city. Baltimore made me miss Albany. It's got that charm that only a city-town could have, except Albany is better. ;)

What I have learned in the past few months, from lots of traveling and moving around, is that it's incredibly important to explore. Drive to the edge of the world and back. Take every opportunity there is to see and try something new. Eat something spicy. Go on a hike. Take 5 selfies a day. Visit a friend in a city you've never been to. Gain some scars, some knowledge and conquer all! 

In other news: I bought an excessive amount of Lush products the other day and took the most amazing lavender scented bath last night. I didn't wash my hair after, so the residue from the soap made my hair curl perfectly. Thick, big hair is my absolutely favorite look. Forever. Also, you might have noticed that my hair has changed color several times in the past two or three weeks. The color, right now, is the way I wish it was forever. I might do a tutorial for getting this color, but I don't want to promise things that won't come true.

Dress - Target (and it fits perfect and I need to get it in every color)

Jacket - Forever 21+

Shoes: H&M

Bat Purse - Far Nine via Amazon

Necklace - Small handmade shop in Jerusalem, Israel

I strongly believe that someone should give me a full time for being so adorable and wearing such adorable clothes. If you know of anyone hiring a chic, fat, beauty queen: give them my info!

Lilgrrrlcreep xoxo

Queen Alien of the Internet

I went shopping the other day, with some recently earned cash. (Yeah, of course the first thing I do when I get a pay check is spend it on clothes I don't need.) I tried this amazing mirror-image body-con dress on, and my heart exploded love goo all over the dressing room mirror. It's the perfect amount of funky and touches my weirdo-vibes in just the right angle to make green, out-of-this-world fashion-inspired splooge escape out of my person. 

Dress - Fashion to Figure

Sunglasses - bodega in Israel

Bitch bow - Gifted, Hot Topic

Shoes - UrbanOG

Last fall, I bought this ~!*absolutely adorable*!~ green eyeliner from Ricky's. It honestly makes me feel like an alien goddess, which is one of my life goals. 

My bestie Christian got us matching skull bracelets from Fashion to Figure. I, obviously, am REALLY about it.

I also wanted to show off the purple lippy from Lime Crime, also. 

Lilgrrrlcreep xoxo

Little Bambi

Unlike most days in New Jersey, today was gorgeous. My friend Christian and I headed over to the nature reserve by my house in hopes of hanging out with some deer. Little Bambi had taken the day off, to our dismay. I still had a wonderful time. There are some friends that you can just be ridiculous with. My favorite part of today was driving down the Palisades Parkway, in his old hand-me-down car, windows down, singing loudly to Demi Lovato. Sometimes you just have to sing about sky scrapers to passers by.

Dress - Target

Jean jacket- Asos

Another pair of ripped tights - Nordstrom Rack

Necklace - Torrid from '07

Ring - accessory store in Ridgewood, NJ

Boots - Doc Martens

My outfit was based off of a simple dress, so I chose my most obnoxious ring to dress it up a bit. I knew when I bough this ring that I'd feel kind of loud wearing it. Since it weights a million pounds, it's hard to ignore. 

I'm super obsessed with my purple velvet docs. I'm excited for this cooler weather so I can wear them more, and possibly invest in a new pair. Not to mention, some of my hair matches them!

Lilgrrrlcreep xoxo

Bats in the Attic

Day 2 without a camera, so these were taken in my friend's attic bedroom.  Yeah, I have the same bats in my own bedroom. I always make sure my friends are as equally spooky as a I am, obviously. I'm also blatantly obsessed with this jacket.

Jacket - Forever 21+

Shirt - Thrifted and DIY dyed

Skirt - Target 

Tights - Nordstrom Rack, ripped from dancing too hard

Velvet Doc Martens

Fall is always about layering until you're just a pair of eyes peaking through behind a scarf. It's not cold enough to bundle myself into oblivion yet, but I'm excited for it to get there! 

Lilgrrrlcreep xoxo

P.S. I made the title of this post about the fact that my friend's room is in the attic of his house and because we picked out those bats on the wall. After I typed it, I realized how dangerously close it is to My friends' band's name, Barons in the Attic and knew I had to address this. I'm in their QT music video, so you should check it out.

Kiss My Gel Polished Nails!

As promised, here is a review of the at home gel nail kit by Kiss!

For my birthday, my friend Jeanny gifted me this LED gel lamp and one set of gel polish, with a base and top coat. I've been super excited to use it, and after I got a bad OPI manicure, I knew it was time for something different.

The instructions we're pretty easy. Clean your nails. Apply base coat. 30 seconds under the LED lamp. Apply polish. 60 seconds under the LED lamp. Apply top coat. 30 seconds under the LED lamp. Clean your nails. Voila! 

As you can see, I'm pretty messy on my own. (This is kind of embarrassing, considering I have my cosmetology licenses... but nails were never my strong suit!) These pictures were taken two days after I did my nails, and they were holding up well. Most nail polish would have chipped, so theres that. Today, one of the nails had the polish peel right off. I know I'm rough with my hands and I have a feeling that it's because I got a bit of the top coat on my skin, so there was an air bubble. 

Overall, I think that this is a great nail kit. The other nails show no sign of chipping and only a tiny but of fading on the edges. I do think that it takes practice, and I'll learn how to apply the top coat more efficiently so that the polish lasts longer. It's still way better and more clean than a regular manicure. It also left my nails looking shiny! It's always a plus to have a little sparkle.

 Lilgrrrlcreep xoxo

Put a Bow on It!

Since the tragic camera-breaking incident occurred, my friend Christian was a good sport and took some photos of my outfit. It was a little chilly, but I still got an ice coffee (and also some pumpkin munchkins, which I've been affectionately calling "punkin' munchkies"all day. Doubly yum!)

Let's have an honest moment here, though: I'm not super in love with this outfit. Every step along the way, this outfit saw problems. I put the dress on, and even though the cut-out design is really adorable, there wasn't enough "oomph" in my figure, so I added the bow belt. I really wanted to wear the cable-knit sweater, but after an hour, it stretched out. So, even though I probably would have been warm enough with just the sweater, I wore my new bomber jacket over it. In true fashion, the dress rides up every chance it gets, and my chub rub preventative shorts peak through.

Dress - Old Navy

Cable knit sweater - Target

Bow belt - Torrid

Bomber jacket - Forever 21+

Lace bike shorts- Alihalla on Etsy

Peach flats - H&M

Unless I do laundry tonight or tomorrow, (which, lets face it, I probably won't), I took photos of my new gel manicure and am going to do a review + tutorial to post for tomorrow! BE EXCITED!

Lilgrrrlcreep xoxo

Unlucky 13

Everything was tispy-turvy wacky today. Nobody was stopping at stop signs, I forgot how to get back to my own house, and I broke my camera. I'm so used to having bad luck that I feel unphased by this. I live by the motto, "Everything that could go wrong will go wrong", so I'm confident that I can get past this!
I did manage to snap some photos of my "First Day of Work" outfit before the inevitable fall of my SLR.

 Mind you, my job is as a personal assistant to a former acting coach temporarily turned english teacher. She's the creative type, so I don't have to blazer-it every day, and I even took this as a chance to get out my vintage cowboy boots.

Dress - Asos

Jean jacket - Asos

Thin braided belt - Forever 21+

Cowboy boots - Thrifted

I realize that these photos aren't the cutest or best lit, but my beautiful nikon took the dive to the ground before I could get some good shots. These will just have to do because I really liked this outfit and didn't want to miss out on the opportunity to post it.

Lilgrrrlcreep xoxo

Flower Goddess Amongst the Dead of Fall

This is my most recent Outfit of the Day (OOTD). It was worn yesterday. My friend Christian helped me snap some cute photos.

Bomber jacket with leather sleeves - Forever 21+

Floral mesh panel dress - Fashion to Figure 

Velvet flats - Old Navy

Fox messenger bag - Far Nine on Amazon

Now that we're all up to date on outfits, I look forward to showing you what my closet has to offer. I started doing OOTDs to document what clothes I needed to keep, donate or sell. Now, I use it as an excuse to keep buying! It might not be great for my bank account, but it's certainly great for fatshion lovers.

Lilgrrrlcreep xoxo

Birthday!

On my 22cd Birthday, I went into the city with a bunch of amazing buddies. We stayed out all night, and these pictures were taken after the sunrise in my backyard. This outfit was so solid, it still looks amazing after a full night of celebration!

"Oh Wow" crop top - H&M

Plaid body con skirt - Asos

Eyeball socks- gifted

Lace up sneakers - Vans

And my bestie got me the most cutest Kreepsville666 necklace

Lilgrrrlcreep xoxo

Yum Yum

This year, I gave in to the whole striped trend. I'm so glad I did, though, because these striped suspender leggings give me LIFE.

As you can see, I added some purple to my hair. I've been addicted to it every since.

Velvet pull over - Thrifted

Sheer black high to low tank - Fashion to Figure

Striped suspender leggings - Fashion to Figure

Chelsea boots - Aldo

Sunglasses were found on a counter in an office on campus. No one claimed them after a few days, so I snatched them. The lipstick is my favorite MAC shade, Candy Yum Yum. The nail polish is green glitter glow in the dark which came from Hot Topic. It even comes in a skull bottle! 

Lilgrrrlcreep xoxo

Real Housewives of the UAlbany Student Ghetto

Everything about this outfit felt boughie, and I adored it!

Bow shirt - Forever 21+

Caridgan - Target

Pink bodycon skirt - Target

Black tights - Spanx

Booties - Aldo

And my obnoxiously big necklace from Fashion to Figure

Lilgrrrlcreep xoxo