Real

Last night, the wind was shaking windows and the rain was pouring down hard. While I was relieved it wasn't more snow like some other places were getting, I was doubting that there would be enough sun for photos today. When Christian and I left my house this morning, the rain had stopped, but the wind was still strong. 

I'm not going to lie, this outfit is completely uninspired. It's mostly just an exclamation of unsure weather. Neither of us were feeling today, so it ended up just being a good day for close-ups and comfortable clothing. Also, I think it proves that a little hair accessory can go a long way. I swear to you these photos are all from today and they're all from the same outfit, even though it looks like a collage of different ones. 

beanie - urban outfitters

scoop neck shirt/dress - target

cocoon sweater - torrid

"real" belt - asos

black leggings - walmart

rain boots - urbanog

rain coat - asos

Focusing on the Bigger Picture

I've been taking a fashion break due to funds and other projects. I love the idea of having a blog that services as a portfolio of all my outfits, but running several blogs at once left this one falling through the cracks. I unleash my every though on Bitchtopia and my personal blog, so I'm going to stop trying to write about my life on here. Let's focus on the outfits!

This pink leather jacket is from Amazon. It's a 3x, and its kind of small, but I loved the color so much, I couldn't send it back. Everything else from this outfit has been featured on the blog before. 

"oh wow" crop top - h&m

pink moto jacket - amazon

skater skirt & belt - asos

studded slip-ons - urbanog

Shut Up!

 I've been stuck in the house for what feels like forever. Icicles longer than my body are hanging from the sides of my house and roofs are collapsing from the weight of all the snow. Like most people lost in the tundra, I've resorted to late nights listening to sad songs writing bad poetry. 

I'll spare you the rest of the details, but leave you with the outfit from bbgirl's first day out! Pictures brought to you Bitchtopia. These are just a preview to a set I got to do with my very best friend. <3

Yeah, you've seen these shoes before. They're from my last post and I'm still in love with them. Here is a fat-from-the-side shot, because it doesn't happen that often. Damn, my gams look good! I've always thought of my body like a delicious potato with two little skewers on the bottom for easier tastin'. 

Dress - ASOS

Cardigan - Target

Tights - Nordstrom Rack

Shoes - DSW

"Shut Up" gloves - ASOS

Becca gave me these amazing sweater clips. They're GORGEOUS and I got so many compliments on them!

A little extra preview for you xoxoxo:

-ya fav lady from loser city

Sit Down and Listen Up!

As a teen, I yearned to be one of those quiet artsy girls, adorned in glasses, face buried in a book, but I was the type that would read behind doors, through the night, so I could spend my days yapping everyone's ears off. Being outspoken and strong was a really powerful thing for me, as a teenager. I needed to speak up for myself when I felt that no one else would. Now that I'm an adult, I'm only slightly quieter, and I'm convinced it's because I think for an extra couple seconds before I open my mouth. (Although, I still end up eating my foot every once and a while.)

Learning when to sit down and listen is one of the hardest things to teach yourself. I've lived most of my life being a hard assed, loud, opinionated lady, but one thing feminism has taught me is that I can't ALWAYS have a voice. There are some plights I do not live through, some oppressions seem invisible through my privilege, and sometimes it's best for me to shut the hell up. 2014 is the year I'm going to shut up and listen. Of course, I'm going to still fight for the things I believe in, but I'm learning to not talk over voices that are more important, and need to be heard more than my own. As with all lessons, it will take time and effort. I'll probably make some mistakes. I'm vowing to myself to learn from each mistake.

With that, this outfit is completely inspired by other people. The #Fatshion tag on Tumblr convinced me to buy this dress because all these fierce fatties looked so good in it, I had to join in. Thick heels inspired by one of my favorite bloggers, Ms. Zerostyle. Leather jacket inspired by Beyoncé, because she wore a very similar one on her visit to Walmart. 

I've done it. I've found the perfect leather jacket, and it looks like Beyoncé's. Yes, I mentioned that twice because I'm so proud of it.

Jacket - ASOS

Dress - ASOS

Leggings - Walmart

Shoes - DSW

Bomb ass gold necklace - Fashion to Figure

xoxo ur imaginary gurlie fr1end

Dear Diary

I came ridiculously close to being employed this week. Two interviews, six written articles, and a week of "you're the most talented applicant thus far" later, my writing voice was "too young" for the conservative marketing company. The most disappointing fact of the whole process was that I knew this potential employer was going to put me through the ringer. Sometimes you have to stick things out, regardless of the inevitable outcome, just for the experience. Damn, do I feel experienced. 

Luckily, the same morning I wasn't offered this job, I was named #11 on Buzzfeed's "18 Body Positive Bloggers You Should Be Following." Being named on that list, along with some fellow amazing bloggers, reminded me that even if I'm not the right fit for one job, I'm definitely working towards a larger goal. Bitchtopia is my number one project at the moment, and it's definitely worth the time!

I got inspired to wear a crop top today because of #skorchcropshot #skorch #skorchmag #skorchmagazine. Yes, all those tags are necessary. 

Top - Thrifted

Pink Skirt - Target

Double Sided Tights - SPANX

Scarf - Borrowed from Christian because BRRRR

Velvet Combat Boots - Doc Martens 

My friend and photographer, Christian, took some really interesting, fantastic photos. We were so cold, and kept switching jackets, but we made it werk. 

My lipstick is Beth Ditto for MAC: Dear Diary

THIS AMAZING PIZZA RING was another gift given to me by TheFattestFox, formally BeccaBae. 

Fortune Telling for the Holidays

I'm a 22 year old that recently graduated university. That fact in itself is filled with frustration, mystery and cluelessness. Since receiving my diploma in May, I've gone through most of the phases of grief for my college years. The week I graduated, I denied that I'd have to face the real world by celebrating with my friends at various bars every night. When I moved out of my beloved college apartment, I was angry to return home, mostly because I knew I'd have to live with my parents. I bargained with myself, through my anger, and inevitably thought that moving away to Chicago was going to make me become the adult I had to be. A few months later, I was fighting through an awful depression about being back in my childhood room. The only step left is acceptance, and I'm more than ready to get on to this stage of the grieving process. 

As you might have read on Bitchtopia, my best friend's mother has recently converted to Wicca. She offered for me to get a Tarot reading from one of her witch buddies. Even though I'm a little weary about these kind of things, I took the reading as an opportunity to hear a new opinion on what might be possible for my future because I'm slowly learning that I have no idea what my next move should be.
Just like talking to a therapist, my Tarot reading didn't give me an answer. It gave me a better sense of direction.
For my personality card, I pulled "The Emperor", which symbolizes that I am powerful yet pragmatic and have a very masculine aura. For my future cards, I pulled "The Empress" and "The High Priestess". My reader explained that this could mean that I am going to meet a woman who will make a difference in my life. "The Empress" is a perfect match to "The Emperor", which means I could be meeting someone who will be a very powerful force for my future. It's all very relative, as my present and past cards were all symbols of uncertainty, lost love and indecision.
What I've learned from my reading is that I need to focus on what I really want. I am the only one with the power to decide my future, and I can't just wait around for things to fall on to my lap. Just like "The High Priestess" card symbolizes, I probably already knew this within my subconscious. It's time to make my dreamer attitude actualize and really get to work. 

Just like the fortune told, my focus is already honing in, because my outfit today was probably the cleanest I've had in a while. I have to thank Ms. BeccaBae for making this outfit as amazing as it is. For the holidays, I signed up for a secret santa swap with some other fatshion bloggers. I was lucky enough to get this fox, and she sent me the absolutely beautiful scarf and TOTALLY ADORBS "Nope" wood ring. She sent me more goodies, but I'm going to reveal them with outfits that match them respectively. Maybe Becca is the wonderful woman sent to me to change my life, because I know she has already given me so much, just by being the beautiful, empowering lady that she is. 

Leather moto-jacket - A.n.a. via JC Penny

White Peter pan collar shirt - Amazon

Pink and white striped boat shirt - Old Navy

Burgundy cotton body con skirt - Target

 Velvet flats - Old Navy

My only complaint about this outfit is the skirt. I originally bought it because I adored the color, it WASN'T black and it was body con. When I put the skirt over my body, it sticks to me like glue but no matter how I wash it or wear it, after 15 minutes, it stretches out to be a loose pencil skirt. It's looks wrinkly and messy after less than an hour of wear. We can list this one under "Do Not Want." 

I know it's hard to believe, but my hair only took 5 minutes to do! I sectioned my hair into two sections (the top half and bottom half.) The lower half goes into a high ponytail, which gets teased and pinned into a bun. The upper half gets light teased over the bun and pinned over it. If I ever figure out how to make a nice video, I'll make a tutorial. It's quite possibly the cleanest, easiest vintage style I've ever mastered. 

Wallet - Betsey Johnson via Macy's

"Nope" ring - present from BeccaBae

Pink nail polish - "Pink About It" by Essie

Silver glitter nail polish - "Set in Stones" by Essie

(My jacket is super old and ratty. It's probably time for a new one, but a good moto jacket is so hard to find!)

Christian, who has taken most of my photos, has gotten so fantastic at head shots. It was hard to pick just these two. He's really fantastic and talented and it always blows my mind when he starts a new hobby and just NAILS IT every time. I guess that's what one can do when they harness the power of staying driven and focused. Now it's my turn!

~xoxo your local imaginary ghoulfriend

Fre$h New 'Do

 Instead of falling into the depths of Winter depression, I colored my hair. After days of google image searching, lurking my favorite blogs and opening an endless amount tabs with pictures of hairspo, I knew I needed a funky ombre. I have had a blonde panel in my bangs for almost two years. I'm a creature of habit, so dying bangs one color was really brave of me.

I'm still 50%/50% about this dress, but I love it so much off of my body, that I can't imagine returning it. It's a swing dress from ASOS. I only like the way it looks with a belt, but I definitely need a fresh new black belt to wear it with. For now, I took a belt off of a Summer dress combo. It looks alright. I wish the cut of the shoulders were higher up because I think it would make the whole dress fall better.

Dress: Asos

Tights: SPANX

Belt: Forever 21

Shoes: Dolce Vita

These were my first pair of ~!*fancy*!~ shoes. I bought them 3 years ago, at DSW. I very rarely wear them, because the tongue always slides all the way under the rest of the shoe, and they're not comfortable to wear for long periods of time, but DAMN those buckles are cute.

xoxogossipgurl ;) :*

Mama Said There'd Be Days Like This

I loved my last winter coat so much that I bought it even though it wasn't large enough in the chest area. It was so hard to find the *perfect* cut coat for me, that I compromised the top button with scarves and high-cut sweaters. Five years ago, when I bought that coat, I didn't understand that I should be aiming to buy clothes I'm comfortable in because I'm going to be plus size for a while, if not forever. I should NOT be buying clothes that don't fit, with the hopes of fitting into it later. That's just gonna f*ck with my mental state. In conclusion: It was time for a new coat. 

I've been searching harder than Sherlock Holmes for a coat in a size 20/22, with a fitted waist that's not puffy and still warm and also under $200. I had a few coats that I loved and would probably be perfect, like this coat, but they were all too expensive for me to actually purchase. I ordered 3 reasonably priced coats from ASOS, and wasn't happy with any of them. Their Fit and Flare coat was the closest I got, but I sent it back because I couldn't deal with the drop waist. I'm only 5'3'' and I need a high waist. (empire, if possible.) 

Then there was the Hell Bunny Millie coat. I first saw it on the Re/Dress site, as a preorder, and I hit up Erin (aka zerostyle) right away to get all the details. I checked the measurements, and I thought it would be too small for me, so I gave up on the idea of ordering it. My mom, sick of me not having a winter coat, ordered it for me as a surprise. I could absolutely cry about how perfect it is.

First off, the black details lines are actually velvet. It's adorable and makes me excited just by looking at it. The cuffs are asymmetrical, making for a very flattering edge. Basically, the detailing on this coat is to die for. I'm a size 20, usually a 22 for winter coats, and this coat is a 4x. It fits a tad snug in the chest, as suspected, but it's a double breasted coat, so I plan on re-sewing the buttons for a more lose fit. I haven't done that yet, and as you can see, the coat still fits and (in my opinion) super flattering. I took the belt off because it makes the waist appear lower, and I like a high waist. I'll probably still use the belt every once and while, though, because it's adds a different touch to the style. 

As for warmth, I'd give this a medium to high rating. I like being cold and it takes me a little bit longer to get cold than most, so I'm not sure if I'm a great person to gage this BUT I took these pictures out in 20 degree weather and didn't shiver at all. Once I adjust the buttons, I'll be able to wear many layers of sweaters under this, and I think that I'll be warm enough for snowy winter days. 

Yeah, I'm wearing a wig for these night time photos. I was feeling super goth today, and it just felt right. I attended a hair extension seminar with a friend and needed my synthetic fix. I'm keen of this look, but I could never commit to black hair 24/7. I'm way too pale. 

Magic

I've always described myself as "magic" because I honestly have no explanation of where my confidence comes from. My past includes severe abuse, both physical and verbal, which targeted my size and shape. To this day, my parents (my father especially) bribes me with money to lose weight. Even with diet talk circling my ears and fat stereotypes driving jokes into the ground, I've managed to stay resilient.  I must have cast a spell on myself because I can look in the mirror, gawk at my beauty, and successfully manage to drown out the sound of my "loved" ones' judgement. My newest journey and project is going to be figuring out where I harness my power of confidence from. That's going to be the real trick. It's important to understand why we love the bodies we live in so that we can continue to grow as confident, mystically strong beings.

Now, let's talk about how proud I am to be wearing a full ASOS outfit!

Blouse- ASOS

Jacket- ASOS

Skirt & Belt- ASOS

Shoes - H&M 

I've been waiting to buy this skater skirt for over a year now. I've heard a lot of review saying that the shirt was too short, and I was really worried. I have only a crack where a butt should be, so I don't seem to have that problem. It is long enough that I can wear bike shorts underneath without them poking through at the bottom. I fluctuate between a size 18 and 20, and ordered it in the 20. If sitting on my true waist, it's a perfect fit. I've never been so excited for an article of clothing that actually met it's expectations. Thank you, ASOS, for making all my flirty skater skirt dreams come true.

I especially love the photo above because it's my fat from the side. It's really hard to get a shot from the side that looks nice, but this outfit is so great, it works at any angle! 

The lace work on this blouse is unbelievably adorable. I keep saying that I own too much lace, because it's the biggest trend out there, but DANG how could I not? Some trends are worth the repetition. 

Lilgrrrlcreep xoxo

B*More Adventurous

One of my favorite activities in the world is driving long distance. I'll always choose a road trip over an airplane ride when given the opportunity. This weekend, I drove down to Baltimore, Maryland for a friend's birthday. Long drives are perfect for  one-on-one time with yourself. I turned up some Missy Elliot and had some major reflection time on I-95. 

Although the weekend was fun and full of booty shakin', I'm not smitten with Baltimore yet. I was, however, impressed by the colors of some of the houses, the flamingos on the front yards and small town attitude of the city. Baltimore made me miss Albany. It's got that charm that only a city-town could have, except Albany is better. ;)

What I have learned in the past few months, from lots of traveling and moving around, is that it's incredibly important to explore. Drive to the edge of the world and back. Take every opportunity there is to see and try something new. Eat something spicy. Go on a hike. Take 5 selfies a day. Visit a friend in a city you've never been to. Gain some scars, some knowledge and conquer all! 

In other news: I bought an excessive amount of Lush products the other day and took the most amazing lavender scented bath last night. I didn't wash my hair after, so the residue from the soap made my hair curl perfectly. Thick, big hair is my absolutely favorite look. Forever. Also, you might have noticed that my hair has changed color several times in the past two or three weeks. The color, right now, is the way I wish it was forever. I might do a tutorial for getting this color, but I don't want to promise things that won't come true.

Dress - Target (and it fits perfect and I need to get it in every color)

Jacket - Forever 21+

Shoes: H&M

Bat Purse - Far Nine via Amazon

Necklace - Small handmade shop in Jerusalem, Israel

I strongly believe that someone should give me a full time for being so adorable and wearing such adorable clothes. If you know of anyone hiring a chic, fat, beauty queen: give them my info!

Lilgrrrlcreep xoxo